Things I Think Doctors Should Understand About 
Their Patients: Part II

     Webster’s Dictionary defines a dream as a strongly desired goal or purpose.  It might surprise you, but I believe people with chronic illnesses may dream more often than a healthy person.  Why, you ask?  Well the answer is in Webster’s definition.  It gives us purpose.  There’s a lot we can’t do when we have a chronic illness, but we can always dream.  Not only do our dreams give purpose, but they give hope that someday we may surpass the limitations our disease has given us.  God gave us the ability to choose to be More than our limitations and More than our disease.  Because of this, our disease doesn’t have to define us.  We define our disease and we do this by dreaming.  It’s so important for the people in our lives to understand how crucial dreaming is for us…especially our doctors.  Which leads me to point number two:

2.    Please DO NOT Belittle or Diminish Our Dreams:

This sometimes can be tough for doctors, especially if they have the kind of good relationship with their patients I described in the first point.  While, they have seen us at our best, they also have seen us at our worse.  When we tell them, we are going to attempt to do something that’s risky for our health, then, our worse moments are what’s going to take forefront in their mind; therefore, their initial response may be to diminish or belittle our dreams.  First of all, we, as patients, need to understand they care about us and their response stems from knowledge, caution, and maybe a little fear.  This doesn’t mean their response is the final answer, but it does help us remember our doctors are human too.  Not only do they remember when we were at our worse physically, they have the medical knowledge of what “could,” happen to our health if we take risks.   What our doctors have to see and remember is we know how our bodies are feeling, whether they are strong or weak.  We know when we can take a risk or when we should take it easy.  When we believe we can pursue a dream that may be risky, we have to be allowed to try to or we’ll never know if we can surpass our limitations. For someone with a disease, this is huge. 

     One of my biggest dreams was to go on a mission trip with a team.  In the spring of 2013, I was going to get to fulfill that dream by going to Trinidad. Well…when I shared with my specialist I was going to Trinidad (so I would know what shots would be needed and what preventative medication I should take), he about “flipped his lid.” His mind went back to a little over a year before, when I almost died. I had only seen him one other time within that year, and he didn’t realize was how well I was doing; God was healing me from my diseases and I was the healthiest I had ever been.  I assured him I would never disrespect his medical opinion, but I was the healthiest I had ever been, and I would never pursue this risk without knowing I could physically achieve it.

I knew these facts, but because of his reaction, I left that doctor’s visit feeling so ridiculous and my confidence diminished in what I knew too be true.  Thankfully, my specialist had ordered labs before I left the hospital and my results confirmed to my doctor what I had told him.  He called me that evening to inform me of my lab results and gave his blessing for me to go on my mission trip.  I appreciated his phone call because he showed me despite his first reaction, he truly cared about my dream.

 I went on the mission trip to Trinidad and had an amazing time.  I was incredibly healthy, just like I knew I would be.  If I had let my specialists first reaction continue to belittle or diminish my dreams, I would have never known I could surpass something that had always been a limitation in my life. 

My Immunology nurse practitioner told me one time with a chuckle, “Whitney, we don’t want you to live in a bubble, but some of the things you attempt to do scares us to death!” I can’t tell you how happy I was with her comment because it showed me I’m truly defining my disease and even though it makes my doctor nervous, he was beginning to understand how important it is to allow me to dream.

Now my specialist asks me if I have any trips planned and where am I going to go next.  He’s genuinely excited for me when I reach another milestone in my life. When we have a chronic illness, and our physicians can see we aren’t reckless with our health, and they  know we realize what we can handle, then we need them to encourage us in our dreams and even though it may “scare” them— we need them to allow us to live.