God-Size Dreams

         

          Lately, God-size dreams have been on my mind.

I’ve thought about the God-size dreams and goals I want to achieve in the future, but also victories already written. This week, one particular dream that came true for me keeps coming to mind.

A dream where I stood in the same spot so many remarkable individuals stood before me and after me.  It was a dream I dared to hope for— but never thought would come to pass.

When I first stepped foot at Asbury University, I was so insecure. Stepping out of my comfort zone was difficult and when I did, I felt so exposed. As a teenager, there were many times people my age made me feel inadequate and small. Eventually, I had no confidence in myself.

But my very first night at Asbury, a God-size dream began to take root in my heart— to share my story in chapel. 

Almost every student who spoke in chapel began their speech with the phrase, “If you would have told me my freshman year I would be up here speaking in chapel, I wouldn’t have believed you.”  The phrase was used so much, that now it’s considered overused and cliché, but it’s proof speaking in chapel was and is one of the highest of accolades. 

I truly believe God used Asbury to mend my wounded heart. I made friends who saw my worth, encouraging me to share the story God gave me.  I began stepping out of my comfort zone, pursuing roles I would never dream of fulfilling. One of those roles was applying and accepting to be a hall chaplain my senior year, or as Asbury coined it, SLA. With all of these doors opening up for me, God was showing me I was More than I ever thought of myself.

Koinonia was what all the SLA hall meetings were called, meaning Christian fellowship or communion, with God or with fellow Christians, and that’s exactly what I was a part of – A season of precious memories and sweet friendships. 

Comically, before every Koinonia, the SLA must yell the word at the top of their lungs down the hall to assemble everyone. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to muster a big enough shout to let everyone know it was time for our SLA meeting.  I stepped out of my room and hollered Koinonia, surprising myself at the range my lungs were capable of yelling.  I walked back into my room to my roommate’s wide eyes, “I think they heard you,” she told me dryly.

That first night, I felt impressed to share my story. I told the other women about my disease and the obstacles it brought. Little did I know by sharing my story, God was going to open an unexpected door.   

About a month after that Koinonia, one of the women on my hall texted me, telling me there was something she wanted to talk to me about. I was baffled because I had no clue what she might want to discuss. A few hours later, she came to me explaining she was the on the chapel committee who chose students to speak in the student chapels.  My story had really touched her and she wondered if I would share it in chapel in two weeks.  Immediately, I threw my arms around her and began bawling.  I was so overwhelmed, my God-size dream was coming true.

The next two weeks was a struggle because I had to somehow fit 23 years of trials and triumphs into 12 minutes.  Several drafts and practice sessions later, November 7^th, 2011 came.

 To say I was nervous was an understatement.

  After prayer and a beautiful introduction by my roommate on my behalf, I made my way up to adjust the mic, and to my sheer panic it wouldn’t stay up!  Every time I moved it up, it flopped downward.   I was able to keep a smile on my face and laugh with the audience, but in my head, I was frantically thinking, I only have 12 minutes and I’m wasting them because of this stupid microphone!  Finally, I turned the device a complete 180 and somehow it stayed in place. I truly believe Jesus was holding it for me.  Ironically, it turned out to be a complete ice breaker.  It calmed my nervous heart and it lightened the mood of the audience, making them interested in what I had to say. 

For 12 minutes, I addressed over 1200 students and professors sharing with them how faithful God had been to me in the midst of adversity, and God gave me the voice and ability to share my journey and impact others.  After chapel, men and women I didn’t even know hugged me and thanked me for sharing my story. 

The icing on the cake of this experience was when I was contacted by the yearbook staff at the end of the year, asking if I would accept the senior superlative nomination of, “Most Likely to be Invited Back to Speak in Chapel.”  Confirmation to me, I truly had something to offer. 

Isn’t that just how God works though?  When He brings a God-size dream to pass, He always gives you affirmation your dream matters, allowing you to move mountains with it.  I don’t know what desires have taken root in your heart, but I hope my story encourages you to never stop climbing that mountain until you have reached your God-size dream.