Live Tall

         The Friday night of youth camp I gathered up the vesper costumes and props to take home when Jason and Jodi Dunham, the assistant youth leaders approached me. They held one of the vinyl signs associated with the camp theme that hung around the camp throughout the week- this particular sign said, "Live Tall." 

         "Whitney," Jodi explained, "Normally we give the signs to the seniors, youth officers, and superlative winners, but we felt this sign could only go to you. You are a true representation of what it means to live tall."

 Tears filled my eyes at this sweet gesture, knowing I would put this sign in a significant place when I returned home. Tuesday, I placed the sign where I deemed worthy- in the middle of my prayer wall, surrounded by prayers, thoughts, and scripture that speaks to me.

 As I taped up the sign to the back of my bedroom door, a realization and truth shined through the crevices of my heart: "Live Tall," is the perfect description of how I lived my life the last few years.  

         You see, the woman I am now is not the teenager I was. I never stood with my head held high. In fact, the best descriptions of me consisted of insecure, introverted, and no confidence. I didn't have many friends, believing aside from my family, not many people saw my worth. I didn't take any pride in my looks or how I carried myself, and I stayed in the tiny box of my comfort zone.

 Five years ago, I slowly began to peel back the layers of the pain and heartache I experienced. I went on mission trips, I became a Sunday School teacher at my church, I reached out to new women my age at church, believing everyone should have a friend at their place of worship, I advocated for the chance to name my gene mutation, I began volunteering for the Immune Deficiency Foundation (IDF), I launched my blog, and I attended my first writing conference.

         I was finally seeing my worth. 

         

These baby steps of victories allowed me to break through the pandora box of my self -doubt in a big way when I volunteered to share my story for IDF's Reel Stories a year ago at their National Conference. Little did I know the doors it would open.

         I always felt God gave me the story He did so I can share it, through my writing and speaking engagements. I felt this calling, even more, when I named my disease MAGIS Syndrome, and my doctor told me I should have never survived my mother's pregnancy.

 How did one launch a ministry though? I knew I wasn't a person who would ask people to host me as a speaker since my ministry wasn't established yet and many people didn't know my story. I believed God would give me opportunities to share my testimony in His timing.

         This belief didn't cause impatience to disappear though. I have never been someone to doubt God will provide, but over the years I have asked this question many times: How will you work this out, God? Once again, I asked this question, I wondered how doors would open and how people would hear my story.

         In the spring I even considered speaking to someone who had an established ministry to get their advice on how to launch my ministry and promote my name, though this has never been my style. My mom cautioned me to pray and think before taking this action since I would be going against my convictions. I took her wisdom to heart, and my determination grew stronger to wait, allowing God to unveil my purpose so I would have no doubt the opportunities given to me were of Him.

         I'm so glad I chose to cling to this assurance because I soon saw the fruit of this decision. In May, Kevin Craft asked me to teach the annual RCC joint Sunday School class where I was able to share about the mountains God has given me the strength to conquer, and this humbling honor opened the beautiful promises of something more.

         Last week, I shared with you an extraordinary gift of being asked to be featured in the magazine, IG Living, a bloom that grew when I decided to be planted and participate in the IDF's Reel Stories last year.

         I wonder though, would these recognitions have come to me if I hadn't decided to live tall? I don't think so. While God expects us to wait on Him, He expects us to do our part as well so when the doors open, we will be ready to walk through.

         So, I encourage you to do your part while you wait on God. Know without a doubt you are worth it. Let go of your insecurities, carry yourself with confidence, and take pride in yourself because God made you. Leap out of the comfort zone that has shoved you in a box, and above all else, take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, and Live Tall!