For Such a Time as This

          Have you ever felt isolated? Like no one totally understands who you are or what your purpose is? I think we all have felt this at one time or another.

And I have to believe this is how Queen Esther felt. Just to give you a little Bible story refresher, Esther along with her cousin Mordecai were Jews who lived in Persia. One night King Ahasuerus summoned Queen Vashti. Vashti refused to submit to the King’s authority so he vanished her as queen and began to look for a new queen. He gathered every beautiful virgin woman in the kingdom and Esther was among them.

Because of God’s divine intervention, Esther was chosen to be the new queen of Persia. I’m sure in that moment though, Esther didn’t see God’s hand in this. She was a Jew in a foreign palace and Mordecai was the only one who knew her secret. As if these changes and secrets weren’t enough, King Ahasuerus’ right-hand man Haman hated the Jews and Mordecai became his mortal enemy when he refused to bow down to Haman.

As you can imagine this didn’t sit well with the prideful and power crazed Haman. So he went to the King and told him the Jews were a threat to the Kingdom and requested that he be given the power to put all the Jews to death. The King granted this request and Haman went to work on his evil plan. When the Jews found out about the decree they were of course distraught. Mordecai sent a servant to notify Queen Esther of the devastating news. He begged her to go to the King to reveal she was a Jew so the massacre wouldn’t take place. Esther told the servant to explain to Mordecai that she could be put to death if she went to her husband without being summoned. Then Mordecai uttered these famous profound words: “…And who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

I understand why Mordecai persisted in convincing Esther to go to the King. He and all of his race had an unexpected expiration date. But I also get why Esther was so hesitant to go. She was totally alone. She was isolated from Mordecai and her race.  I mean the only way she could talk to her only mentor was through servants. No one understood her or what her purpose was. But I think when the servant gave her Mordecai’s profound words, Esther’s heart began to whisper, “Is this who I am? Is this my purpose?” 

I’ve felt like Esther before and I think it’s why I’ve always felt drawn to this famous queen in the Bible. Growing up kids my age and people around me didn’t totally understand who I was or what my purpose could be. When you live with an invisible illness that isn’t well known, people become skeptical of your authenticity. I felt isolated. From where I stood there was no one who completely understood what I was going through or had similar circumstances I could relate too. But in my early 20’s this changed and I gained many dear friends who accepted and encouraged me. They didn’t question whether my story was real or not. So the isolation I felt most of my life began to fade. 

In 2016 when I attended the dissertation of the student who discovered my gene mutation, finding out the name of the disease would be MAGIS Syndrome, a name that meant MORE in Latin, my heart whispered “Is this who I am? Is this my purpose?” In the last two years, I have found it is. That day at the University of Philadelphia was just the beginning. God called me to show people they are MORE than their circumstances. Where ever I share my story my message is the same,  You are MORE! But if I never experienced the years of isolation and loneliness, I wouldn’t be able to assure people that conquering their mountain is possible. You see, before I even knew it, God had chosen me. He called me. He set me apart. For such a time as this.

He did the same exact thing for Esther too. Esther heeded Mordecai’s wise advice and went to the King revealing her secret. Guess what? Her actions saved the whole Jewish race. Esther had been chosen. Esther was called. She was set apart. God used her for such a time as this.

I don’t know what you’re going through. Maybe you feel isolated. Maybe it seems like people around you don’t truly understand you or what your purpose is. But I want to encourage you that God will reveal to you in His perfect time exactly who you are.

Maybe you’ll save a nation.

Maybe you’ll share with people that they are MORE.

Whatever you live to do remember you are already chosen. You are called. You have been set apart. And God will use you in a mighty way for such a time as this.

Never Doubt in the Dark

         Last Thursday my cousin Lili and I left to travel to Napanee, Indiana to visit our cousin, Allyson. Leaving at 3:30 in the afternoon made the six-hour drive not only exhausting but guaranteeing the last portion of our driving would be done in the dark.

         With an hour to go until we reached Allyson’s house, our route took us down several back country roads. In the dark these roads were eerie and our surroundings were a bit frightening. Not knowing exactly where we were or where we were going in the black of the night made us apprehensive. We couldn’t wait to get back on main roads where our journey would be illuminated with lights and signs coming from businesses off the different exits. Needless to say, we were overjoyed when we finally reached our destination.

         When Lili and I left to come home Sunday afternoon, the difference was astounding. The little country roads where we felt unsafe and isolated just three days before changed to feelings of security and warmth. The loveliness and quaintness we couldn’t see in the dark were magnified in the light.

         I began thinking about this experience and how this is exactly what I feel when I’m traveling through the darkness of a battle. I feel unsafe. I’m unsure of where I am or where I’m going. My surroundings are eerie. At times I struggle to hold on to the lighted signs and promises that come from God’s Word. I want to get back on the main roads of my journey. I long to feel the joy of reaching my destination.

         And when I reach my final destination?

         The light magnifies what I couldn’t see or what I forgot in the dark.

         I feel safe. I know I’m loved. The beauty and awe I see in the light are memorizing. But the truth of the matter is just because I feel frightened in the darkness of battle, doesn’t mean I should forget what I’ve been told in the light— God’s promises are true. They are a firm foundation. I’ve heard my pastor quote it and I heard it on Sunday at my cousin’s church, “Never Doubt in the Dark, What God Told You in the Light.” When darkness comes it’s okay to be frightened. Don’t be ashamed of feeling unsafe or isolated. It’s not a sin to wonder where God is or where He’s taking you. We’re human and human emotions are going to overcome us when we’re in the darkness. But what you mustn’t do is doubt what God has told you in the light. It’s easy to trust God’s promises in the light when everything good and right is illuminated, but the real act of trusting comes when terrifying darkness comes. 

         When the suffocating blackness engulfs you, stand on God’s promises. Remember what He told you. Write the words down to show the darkness you believe victory is just around the corner. Live your life in a way that testifies to the world you know what God has said will come to pass. Above all, keep walking through the darkness because when you finally reach the top of the mountain you’ll be able to touch the light.

Even a Child is Known

Right now I’m reading the book of Proverbs. I absolutely love this book. It’s chalk full of golden nuggets that aren’t only practical but encourage you to believe in the impossible. So many things have resonated with me as I have read these chapters. One day I read something I don’t ever remember reading, claiming a new promise of God and another day I read something I have read before and I’m challenged to do a better job of applying it to my life.

Recently, I read a verse in Proverbs chapter 20 that I don’t ever remember reading before, but it struck me in a profound way. Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. Proverbs 20:11. 

Wow! How deep and extraordinary are these words? If the Bible says a child knows what is pure and right, how much more should we as adults know what is pure and right? But the sad truth of the matter is more times than not adults could glean from children’s innocence, honesty, and virtue. All you need to do is turn on the TV to the news and you’ll see so many adults don’t know the meaning of pure and right anymore. What happened to men and women striving for goodness? When did adults lose their raw sincerity? Who told men and women that it was okay to let their principles and forthrightness fall to the wayside?

The Bible says to train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he won’t depart from it. But if adults continue to lose their integrity how will a child know what is pure? How will they know what is right?

We NEED to do better.

We MUST do better.

Thankfully, I saw this verse in action this past Sunday afternoon through a little girl named Madelyn Caseman. The Sunday morning service kicked off my church, Rubyville Community Church’s homecoming revival and after homecoming dinner, we had our annual songfest. For the past several years, a local Southern gospel group, The Lore Family has sung and they did the honors this year as well. Right before the Lore’s began to sing I noticed that Madelyn was sitting by Sandy Lore up on the stage. My first thought was that when they began singing, Madelyn would probably go back to sit with her parents, but to my surprise, when the family got up to sing, Madelyn came with them. They announced she would be singing her favorite song with them, “I Lived to Tell About It.” 

I think everyone in the congregation held their breath, hoping she would not become scared, no one more than her mother Ashley Caseman. “I was nervous because being three years old, I wasn’t sure what she was going to do when she got up there, but she showed no fear standing in front of everyone. As soon as that little hand went up, my heart completely melted and the tears started flowing.”

And when Madelyn raised that little hand up in the air, singing her heart out, that hand never came down until the end of the song. After the songfest, Ashley and her husband Cameron asked Madelyn what it was called when she raised her hand and why she did it. This was the precious girl’s response: “I was praising the Lord because He is good to us.”

Madelyn knew what was right. Madelyn knew what was pure. Every person who witnessed her singing that afternoon left not doubting these facts. But the reason Madelyn knew what was pure and what was right is a result of the training she’s received from her parents, her family, and her church family— children act by example and Madelyn has seen goodness, sincerity, principles, and forthrightness. 

We NEED to do better.

We MUST do better or children like Madelyn will cease to know what it means to be pure and right. I for one will use this verse as a reminder to be the best example of what pure and right is so the children I know will grow up into adults who know God created them to be MORE.

Believe What You Pray For

This week has been busy, especially with two trips to Columbus for doctors’ appointments. But I still wanted to share something with my readers this week. This blog post is short and sweet, but I feel like it’s for someone, just like it’s been for me this week. I always wonder what God will give me to write about.  Honestly, He has used this blog as a way for me to process and release things I’ve experienced on this journey of climbing my mountains.

It’s been so freeing.

On Monday, my friend, Fayth Lore, posted a quote that said, “What if…everything you are going through is preparing you for what you asked for.” This quote totally resonated with my heart, stirring my soul with expectancy and anticipation. I’ve been told God has a plan for me and I know I need to trust in God’s timing, but this inspirational saying is exactly what I needed to hear at this time of my life.

You see, I have been and I am currently praying for some pretty big things right now. I’ve wondered how God would bring these desires of my heart to pass, but the saying Fayth posted was so timely for me.  It was as if God whispered into my heart that even though I don’t understand all that I’ve been through or why I’m where I’m at in certain areas of my life, these seasons of life are actually preparing me for what I’ve asked God to bring to pass.

I’ve already begun to see this statement is true and it’s only been three days since Fayth shared this post. But you know how God is. He rarely just gives you a word or a promise without backing it up with a confirmation and He did that for me today. My friend, Danielle Hannah texted me a quote that said, “Believe in What You Pray For.” I just knew God was giving me permission to believe in these "big exceeding abundantly above," prayers I’m praying about.  

So, I just want to encourage anyone reading these words to look at the season of life you’re in differently because what if you’re going through them because they are preparing you for what you’re praying for? Believe in the prayers you’re praying. Expect them to come to pass. Who knows maybe this time next week you’ll have what you have been praying for.