A Life Worth Celebrating

I have already been faced with the question if I’m planning on bringing life into this world.

I’ll never forget the day when the genetics counselor at the National Institutes of Health, (NIH) sat me down to discuss my newly discovered gene mutation. With a serious face, she asked this question- “Will you want to have children if you could potentially give them this mutation?”

My response was equally serious. “Yes, I do,” I told her. “I have lived a great life and if my child has this same gene mutation, they will live a great life as well.”

Having MAGIS Syndrome has made me passionate about many things. I’m passionate about the fact that I am MORE than my disease. I’m passionate about the fact that MAGIS has given me a story to share. I’m passionate about my life mantra that I’ll define my disease and surpass every limitation it sets in my path. Most importantly, I’m passionate about life.

I believe without a doubt that life begins at conception. Whether a life is a three-week baby fetus or a 100-year-old person, that life should be celebrated.  

If my mother’s doctor knew I had a gene mutation when my mother was pregnant with me then there’s a good chance the doctor would have sat my parents down to discuss their “options.” Had they believed in options and not wanted a child with extensive health issues, then there’s no doubt what they would have chosen. But look what they would have taken from me— A life full of opened doors. A life full of opportunities. A life full of victories. 

Mothers and fathers who find out they are going to have an ill child have many reasons for choosing other options instead of life and I believe it’s because the focus is on the pain and the “cannot” their son or daughter will experience in life. But the focus should be on the joy and the “can’s” they will experience in life. I can say this because I am a CAN who could have been a CANNOT.

Believe me, I don’t understand why a person in a supermarket aisle is dying from cancer, but the person right beside them in that same aisle is perfectly healthy. My mind can’t comprehend why an adult with a disease has a wonderful quality of life with a long lifespan, but a child with that same disease dies before they even have a chance to live. It breaks my heart and I probably won’t have the answers this side of Heaven. But here’s what I do know… the life of that person who had cancer and the life of that child who died way to young had purpose, meaning, and worth.

The time will probably come in the future where I will have life growing inside of me, a son or daughter who could be born with MAGIS Syndrome. Whether my child never lives to be placed in my arms or whether they live to give me grandchildren they will never doubt this fact: Their life had a profound impact on mine, their life gave mine worth, and their life was celebrated.

New Beginnings

            I’ve always been drawn to the number 8.

 I realized why a few weeks ago when my pastor said in his sermon the number eight means New Beginnings in the Bible. As I thought about it later I saw despite the uncertain days I have lived, I knew in the depths of my soul one day I would witness New Beginnings.

When will I be financially stable enough to live on my own? When will I meet the man God has for me? When will he and I get married? When will we have kids? When will my writing career take off? When will I get an agent to represent my writing? When will I get a publishing contract? When will more doors open to share the story God has given me to others are questions that are constantly on my mind

But God recently allowed me to see New Beginnings with my writing career in a way I didn’t expect— through the Taylor Professional Writing Conference.

Ok, I know, I know, isn’t that the very purpose of a writing conference? To get you excited and energized to take your writing to the next level? It definitely is, but I never planned to attend this conference at Taylor University. What I did know this past February was I wanted to go to a writing conference Michelle Medlock Adams would be at. When I saw she was on the faculty at the Georgia Christian Writing Conference in Marietta, Georgia where my Dad’s extended family lives, I couldn’t believe how perfect this conference would be. I booked my plane ticket, made arrangements for my family to get me to and from the writing conference, and I was so excited to be attending a conference that was tailored after the prestigious Florida Christian Writing Conference. I had my heart set on attending this conference 

Then I found out in April the location of the Georgia Christian Writing Conference changed from Marietta, Georgia to Toccoa, Georgia. With a heavy heart, I canceled my plane ticket and notified my family I would no longer need their help. I decided to go back and look at Michelle’s schedule again and see if there was another conference that was either close to where I lived or in a state near family.

I found the Taylor Professional Writing Conference in Upland, Indiana, August 3^rd-4^th. Michelle was a part of the faculty and would be one of the keynote speakers. The conference was near my aunt, so I registered for the conference and made plans with my mother for her to drop me off at Taylor University, while she would visit her sister in Woodburn, Indiana.

I have to be honest, even after I registered for the Taylor conference, I was still crushed I couldn't attend the Georgia Christian Writing Conference. I was excited I’d still get to learn from Michelle, glean invaluable knowledge from an excellent faculty, and get an “in,” of new tricks of the writing trade. But I was going from attending a three-day writing conference to attending a one-day writing conference- I didn't see how new doors could open for my writing in just 24 hours.

Remember how I found out the number 8 means New Beginnings a few weeks ago? Well, I believe God knew the disappointment I was feeling and He was giving me confirmation that the best was yet to come. You know how God is though. He doesn’t just give you one confirmation, He gives you another one, just so you know without a doubt He’s at work.

When my mom and I were traveling to Taylor University, I brought up my Bible app and this was the verse- Brethern, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth into those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus Christ. Philippians 3:13-14. I couldn’t believe it. A hope I didn’t have before began to grow in my heart. I showed my mom the verse with a smile and said-  New Beginnings.

Now, these two confirmations would be totally be enough, but God likes to give His children MORE than enough— and He gave me the MORE through Michelle’s key note. Michelle’s first point in her speech was “Gaze Forward and Go Forward.” Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. I was on the edge of my seat in awe— New Beginnings.

The Taylor Professional Writing Conference was the conference God wanted me to attend and so many doors began to open for me through this opportunity. I learned so much and I’m starting to see the light of the New Beginnings of the mission and the calling of writing God has placed on my life. The possibilities at hand give me excitement and a drive to press toward the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus Christ because He is the source of all New Beginnings. 

Live Tall

         The Friday night of youth camp I gathered up the vesper costumes and props to take home when Jason and Jodi Dunham, the assistant youth leaders approached me. They held one of the vinyl signs associated with the camp theme that hung around the camp throughout the week- this particular sign said, "Live Tall." 

         "Whitney," Jodi explained, "Normally we give the signs to the seniors, youth officers, and superlative winners, but we felt this sign could only go to you. You are a true representation of what it means to live tall."

 Tears filled my eyes at this sweet gesture, knowing I would put this sign in a significant place when I returned home. Tuesday, I placed the sign where I deemed worthy- in the middle of my prayer wall, surrounded by prayers, thoughts, and scripture that speaks to me.

 As I taped up the sign to the back of my bedroom door, a realization and truth shined through the crevices of my heart: "Live Tall," is the perfect description of how I lived my life the last few years.  

         You see, the woman I am now is not the teenager I was. I never stood with my head held high. In fact, the best descriptions of me consisted of insecure, introverted, and no confidence. I didn't have many friends, believing aside from my family, not many people saw my worth. I didn't take any pride in my looks or how I carried myself, and I stayed in the tiny box of my comfort zone.

 Five years ago, I slowly began to peel back the layers of the pain and heartache I experienced. I went on mission trips, I became a Sunday School teacher at my church, I reached out to new women my age at church, believing everyone should have a friend at their place of worship, I advocated for the chance to name my gene mutation, I began volunteering for the Immune Deficiency Foundation (IDF), I launched my blog, and I attended my first writing conference.

         I was finally seeing my worth. 

         

These baby steps of victories allowed me to break through the pandora box of my self -doubt in a big way when I volunteered to share my story for IDF's Reel Stories a year ago at their National Conference. Little did I know the doors it would open.

         I always felt God gave me the story He did so I can share it, through my writing and speaking engagements. I felt this calling, even more, when I named my disease MAGIS Syndrome, and my doctor told me I should have never survived my mother's pregnancy.

 How did one launch a ministry though? I knew I wasn't a person who would ask people to host me as a speaker since my ministry wasn't established yet and many people didn't know my story. I believed God would give me opportunities to share my testimony in His timing.

         This belief didn't cause impatience to disappear though. I have never been someone to doubt God will provide, but over the years I have asked this question many times: How will you work this out, God? Once again, I asked this question, I wondered how doors would open and how people would hear my story.

         In the spring I even considered speaking to someone who had an established ministry to get their advice on how to launch my ministry and promote my name, though this has never been my style. My mom cautioned me to pray and think before taking this action since I would be going against my convictions. I took her wisdom to heart, and my determination grew stronger to wait, allowing God to unveil my purpose so I would have no doubt the opportunities given to me were of Him.

         I'm so glad I chose to cling to this assurance because I soon saw the fruit of this decision. In May, Kevin Craft asked me to teach the annual RCC joint Sunday School class where I was able to share about the mountains God has given me the strength to conquer, and this humbling honor opened the beautiful promises of something more.

         Last week, I shared with you an extraordinary gift of being asked to be featured in the magazine, IG Living, a bloom that grew when I decided to be planted and participate in the IDF's Reel Stories last year.

         I wonder though, would these recognitions have come to me if I hadn't decided to live tall? I don't think so. While God expects us to wait on Him, He expects us to do our part as well so when the doors open, we will be ready to walk through.

         So, I encourage you to do your part while you wait on God. Know without a doubt you are worth it. Let go of your insecurities, carry yourself with confidence, and take pride in yourself because God made you. Leap out of the comfort zone that has shoved you in a box, and above all else, take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, and Live Tall!